I dunno?
by Lady Merlin
Summary: look, harry supposedly died at the hands of voldie poo. Key word being, supposedly. He now makes a return. One shot. K for safety


Ok, this is seriously OOC, ok? It is a little one or two shot thingy that hit me while I was trying to sleep. It is like, Harry is dead, seems Voldie Poo killed him. Then… MUAHAHHAHAHAH! Hack hack! Never mind… I don't own anyone!

"Welcome to Hogwarts one and all! We welcome our first years and hope that they can learn life skills here, in the ancient halls of history. Remember, a warning to some people," said Professor McGonagall glaring at a pair of twins. "Nobody is allowed into the great for--"

Suddenly, the doors of the halls slammed open. In came a man, dressed in Hogwarts robes, hair as black as night, and eyes as green as A/N: um, um, I dunno? Just imagine I said something. Ok? He looked exhausted and pale. He collapsed, saying the words, "Where is Professor McGonagall?"

The hall was in uproar. Professor McGonagall magically carried him to the hospital wing.

Three days later, he awoke in the hospital wing, and remembered how much he hated being in there. He got out of bed and went towards the door. Madam Pomfrey screeched when she saw him. "Hey, chill madam Pomfrey. Remember me? I'm Harry Potter. I just hate this place. It scares me."

"Harry Potter is dead!" said Madam Pomfrey, paling.

"No I am very well alive. I never was dead. He just locked me up. Now, he's dead." Said Harry.

"Who?"

"Voldemort of course!" said Harry.

Madam Pomfrey gave a little gasp. "He is dead. Professor Dumbledore is coming back in a bit. He said that he needed to do something. God knows what."

"Professor Dumbledore is dead too!"

"Nope. Not as dead as Voldemort would have wanted him to be. Snape would never kill Dumbledore. It was a trick. A good one." Said Harry. "Now, can I go out? I haven't seen the sunshine in 8 months."

"Yes, but come back soon. Minerva will have my head!" Madam Pomfrey said.

Harry set off outside, students giving him queer looks. He just grinned. It was good to be back in Hogwarts. Soon, he walked past a classroom, in which a familiar looking lady was teaching.

He knocked on the door and stood there grinning. She stared at him, then a look of recollection ran through her mind. "But your dead!"

"Nope. I'm pretty much alive." Said Harry smiling.

"Ok, class, dismissed."

"But professor Granger!" a student protested.

"Hey, you know, when I was studying with her, she was just like you. The end of year papers got cancelled and she almost cried." He said grinning.

"I'm going to kill you!" said Hermione and ran after him.

The students looked surprised then ran out the classroom.

"M'ione" whispered Harry as he hugged Hermione. He felt tears running down her cheeks. He felt tears running down his cheeks too. He gave her a sweet kiss on the lips, and she was stunned. Soon, she began to respond. The passion and fire in the kiss made her weak and her knees wobbled. Breaking off the kiss, both of then were short of breath. In complete silence, they sat down next to each other and Harry put his arm around her neck. Unknown to them, Professor McGonagall and a young girl were watching from different ends of the classroom. Both of them bumped into each other.

"Professor, who is he?" the girl asked McGonagall.

"Dear, he is Harry Potter. He, Professor Hermione and Ron, as he calls himself were best friends in Hogwarts. Then, the prophecy had to be fulfilled. They went off to get Voldemort. Then there was an accident. Everybody thought that Harry dead. They left, and the dark ages started again. Then, now he is here, and he say that Professor Dumbledore, the greatest Headmaster Hogwarts ever had is alive, and he has killed Voldemort. Now, I think that both of them might want to be alone. Go on, and yes, you may tell your friends. Not about the well, um, making out," said Professor McGonagall blushing, "But the story. I trust you, ok?"

"Yes Professor! Bye!" called the little girl.

Meanwhile,

"Harry, come on. Follow me!" she said, dragging him along. They went through several passages and rooms and places Harry had never seen. She led him into a classroom full of people. At the head was a tall red headed boy. He was busy teaching until he noticed them at the back.

He went to the back, and yelled, "BLOODY HELL!" and the class roared in laughter. "Ok, everybody, I gonna tell you to get outta here, but before that, I want you to meet my best childhood friend. Harry Potter." The class silenced.

"Isn't he dead?" asked a young boy.

"Nope. He just locked me up. Daft man. Now children, don't worry. He's gone. He's dead. Voldemort is dead." He said, and after acceptance of this fact, there was a cheer of joy, then they ran out of there.

"Harry! I missed you."

"Ron, I missed you too."

Hermione burst into tears. "Boys!" and ran out of the room.

Both Ron and Harry grinned at each other and hugged each other. "What the hell happened to you and Hermione?" Harry asked Ron.

"Well, we were too similar. We crashed. Orange doesn't look great on red. We just couldn't along. We decided it was for the best."

"Ya mean she's open?" Harry asked.

"What? You mean-"

"Yea. Always have."

"Bloody hell! You mean you were ready to give her up so that I could have her? Are you mental?" Ron burst out horrified.

"Yes. You are my best friend. I'd do anything so you're happy. "Unknown to them, Hermione was listening. She tried to stem a flow of silent tears. She wondered how he must have felt.

"I almost died of relief when you two got together. If it had taken any longer, I would have made a move, then, you would have hated me. I never felt so strong bout someone. I only pretended to like Cho, cuz, well, she was unattainable, so I would not bug you and M'ione."

Hermione walked a distance away and cried. Her heart was melting from that iron grip she had kept it in. She was showing emotions. One of her students passed her and tried to comfort her, but she said that they were tears of joy, not pain and sorrow.

A few days passed in pure bliss. One day, the teachers decided to make Harry take a Griffindor class. He walked into the Griffindor common room. Tears brimmed his eyes. The students were staring.

"Hello Griffindors. I'm sorry. There are just so many memories of friends, and homework and everything. Forgive me. I'm Harry Potter. Yes. The Harry potter, but if you call me that, I will hex you into oblivion. I'm not kidding. My friends are skilled hexers, like Ginny Weasley. You do not want to be on the receiving end of her Bat Bogey Hexes. And, my Dad was the head Marauder. Do any of you know what a Marauder is? If not, go and ask your grandparents. They will have several fond memories to share with you. Anyway, they were to biggest pranksters in 50 centuries. Look at this. They made this in their 2 year. He took out the Marauders map. I solemnly swear I am up to no good." He said tapping the map.

"They sneaked out on every weekend. They knew everything about the school, more that Professor Dumbledore. Seriously. Oh, look, Professor McGonagall is coming this way. Watch and Learn." He instructed the students with a wink.

He put his head out the door at the last minute and said, "The Marauders!" Professor McGonagall screeched and ran. "See, all the teachers are scared to death of them. Peeves loves them. They consisted of Sirius Black, my God father, Remus Lupin,"

"Wait, do you mean professor Lupin?"

"You mean, he's here?" Harry asked overjoyed.

"Yes, he's one of the DADA teachers." Said the same boy.

"Oh heavens! Can you take me to him?" Harry asked eagerly.

"Sure." Said the boy, getting up. The whole common room poured out and followed the boy and Harry.

"What's your name?" Harry asked the boy.

"I'm John, John Longbottom?"

"Is your father Neville Longbottom?" Harry asked.

"Yes."

"He was one of my good friends, who is your mum?" Harry asked.

"Lavender. Her maiden name is Lavender Brown."

"Amazing! That is an unexpected pairing. Both of them were good friends." Harry said. By then, they had reached the teachers office. "Do we have to knock or something?"

"Yes."

"Oh hell with that. Alohmora!" said Harry, and the door swung open. "Tell me one thing, is Professor Snape still around?"

"Yes. That evil slimy git!"

"Hah, he picks on you? He picked on me too. I hated him, but he save my life, cuz my dad saved his. He's not evil. He's a good man. Dumbledore trusts him, if you don't trust Dumbledore, you can't trust anyone." Harry said, leading them through the office.

Soon, he saw Professor Lupin on his desk, going through some books. "Oi Moony!" he called. Professor Lupin looked up at Harry and asked, "Prongs?" in awe.

"Nah! I just wanted to tease you. I'm Harry." Harry said.

"Oh good lord! I thought you were dead."

"Do you have any idea how many time I have heard that since I got here?" Harry asked lightly. "Nah, I killed him. I killed Voldie Poo." Lupin grinned. He hugged Harry.

"It's been a long time." Harry nodded. "What about Wormtail?" Lupin asked.

"Wormtail is gone. He ran away. And what about Tonks?" Harry asked.

"Not Tonks anymore, she's Lupin. Now, she wants to be called Nymph." Lupin said.

"Congratulations." Harry said.

On the way back into his Dorm, he bumped into Snape.

"Potter?"

"Yes Professor Snape."

"Congratulations." He said warmly, A/N: ARGAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

"Thanks!" Harry said and gave him a hug. A/N: ARGAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Many years later…

"Mommy! Daddy! Am I really going to Hogwarts?"

"Yes Mel, you are."

"COOL! Can I go and pack my bag?"

"Yes Mel, you may."

The little girl ran into her room to pack her bag. Harry looked at the woman beside him. He would have no one replace her. Never. She was his one and only love. "M'ione," he said.

"Hmmm?"

"I'm hungry."

She giggled. "When are you not?"

"Hey, what can I say? I take after my dad and Sirius. Both of them were always hungry, from what Lupin told me."

"Harry, I love you."

"M'ione, I love you too." He said, and kissed her, the kiss of lovers who had all eternity.

Well, I know, some people are gonna kill me, but what can I say? REVIEW! Flames are for toasting marshmallows! YUM!


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